Monday, August 18, 2008

Good Morning


Good Morning,
I'm your angel;
Let's start this brand new day!
I'll add a bit of heaven,
to help you on your way.

I'll help you open sleepy eyes,
enable you to see,
sunshine-jewels in morning light,
so priceless,
yet they're free.

I'll cause the morning birds to sing,
and then I'll take their songs,
and place them all into your heart...
to cheer you all day long.

I'll help you find your lost car keys,
the work that you brought home...
and as your walking out the door,
you won't go out alone.

For I'll be right beside you...
breathe deep,
you'll feel me here.
I'm that invigorating tingle,
held in the morning air.

As you go about your day,
Please know that this is true...
There's nothing you can't overcome,
For I'll be there with you.

Husband & Wife..?

Husband & Wife - Why divorce?
In a divorce court a woman requested the judge: "Your honor, I want to divorce my husband." "But why ?" asked the judge. She replied, "Because he is not faithful to me." The judge asked, "How do you know ?" She replied, "My lord, not a single child resembles him."

Husband & Wife - Love Your Enemy
From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, "One month after I die I want you to marry Samy." "Samy! But he is your enemy !" "Yes, I know that ! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now."

Husband & Wife - Wedding Ring
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? " The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

Husband & Wife - Why?
" Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I'd be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man's arms. " Why, Dad ? Tell me why!" Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, Son, she didn't get the fax."

Husband & Wife - Same Service
A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it's all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking." "Why complain?" said the counselor. "You're still getting the same service!"

Husband & Wife - Talk About Husband
One woman told another : "My neighbour is always speaking ill of her husband, but look at me, my husband is foolish, lazy and a coward; but have I ever said anything bad about him?"

Husband & Wife - Love To Do
A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?" "I would love to." Replied the husband. "But I don't know her well enough."

Husband & Wife - No Answer Back
A man was telling his friends, "When my wife is infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares answer her." One of his friends asked."And when you are angry, what do you do?" The man replied, "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and none of them dares to answer back.

Husband & Wife - Come Home Late
A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him. "Take my advice," said the neighbour, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o'clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: "Is that you, Jim?" And that cured him. "Cured him !" asked the woman, "but how?" The neighbour said, "You see, his name is Bill."

Husband & Wife - Problem Father
"You looked troubled," I told my friend, "what's your problem?" He replied, "I'm going to be a father." "But that's wonderful," I said. "What's wonderful? My wife doesn't know about it yet.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

A real Good English to Urdu :)

Have a nice day! ---- Achcha din lo!
What's up? ----- Uppar kya hai?
You're kidding! ----- Tum bachcha bana rahe ho!
Don't kid me! ----- Mera bachcha mat banaao!
Yo, baby! What's up? ----- Beti Yo, uppar kya hai?
Cool man! ----- Thandaa aadmi!
Check this out, man! ---- Iskee chaanbeen karo, aadmi!
Don't mess with me, dude. ----- Mere saath gandagi mat karo, e vyakti.
She's so fine! ----- Who itnee baareek hai!
Listen buddy, that chick's mine, okay!? ----- Suno dost, who chooza mera hai, theek?
Hey good looking; what's cooking? ---- Arrey sundarta ki devi; kya pakaa rahee ho?
Are you nuts? ----- Kya aap akhrot hain?
Son of a gun. ----- Bachcha bandook ka.
Rock the party. ---- Party mein patthar feko.

And the best ones are.....

How do you do? ----- Kaise karte ho?
Keep in touch! ----- Chhoote Raho.
Lets hang out! ----- Chalo bahar latakte hain

HOW TO SAY? I LOVE U

How to say
I Love You in 100 Languages

English - I love you
Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief
Albanian - Te dua
Arabic - Ana behibak (to male)
Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)
Armenian - Yes kez sirumem
Bambara - M'bi fe
Bengali - Ami tomake bhalobashi (pronounced: Amee toe-ma-kee bhalo-bashee)
Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu
Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo
Bulgarian - Obicham te
Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah
Catalan - T'estimo
Cherokee - Tsi ge yu i
Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse
Chichewa - Ndimakukonda
Chinese
Cantonese - Ngo oiy ney a
Mandarin - Wo ai ni
Comanche - U kamakutu nu
(pronounced oo----ka-ma- koo-too-- ---nu) -- Thx Tony
Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)
Cree - Kisakihitin
Creol - Mi aime jou
Croatian - Volim te
Czech - Miluji te
Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig
Dutch - Ik hou van jou
Elvish - Amin mela lle (from The Lord of The Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien)
Esperanto - Mi amas vin
Estonian - Ma armastan sind
Ethiopian - Afgreki'
Faroese - Eg elski teg
Farsi - Doset daram
Filipino - Mahal kita
Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua
French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore
Frisian - Ik hald fan dy
Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort
Georgian - Mikvarhar
German - Ich liebe dich
Greek - S'agapo
Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo
Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw
Hawaiian - Aloha Au Ia `oe
Hebrew
To female - "ani ohev otach" (said by male) "ohevet Otach" (said by female)
To male - "ani ohev otcha" (said by male) "Ohevet ot'cha" (said by female)
Hiligaynon - Guina higugma ko ikaw
Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae
Hmong - Kuv hlub koj
Hopi - Nu' umi unangwa'ta
Hungarian - Szeretlek
Icelandic - Eg elska tig
Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw
Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu
Inuit - Negligevapse
Irish - Taim i' ngra leat
Italian - Ti amo
Japanese - Aishiteru or Anata ga daisuki desu
Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene
Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka
Kiswahili - Nakupenda
Konkani - Tu magel moga cho
Korean - Sarang Heyo or Nanun tangshinul sarang hamnida
Latin - Te amo
Latvian - Es tevi miilu
Lebanese - Bahibak
Lithuanian - Tave myliu
Luxembourgeois - Ech hun dech gaer
Macedonian - Te Sakam
Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu
Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu
Maltese - Inhobbok
Marathi - Me tula prem karto
Mohawk - Kanbhik
Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik
Nahuatl - Ni mits neki
Navaho - Ayor anosh'ni
Ndebele - Niyakutanda
Norwegian
Bokmaal - Jeg elsker deg
Nyonrsk - Eg elskar deg
Pandacan - Syota na kita!!
Pangasinan - Inaru Taka
Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo
Persian - Doo-set daaram
Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay
Polish - Kocham Ciebie
Portuguese - Eu te amo
Romanian - Te iubesc
Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
Scot Gaelic - Tha gra\dh agam ort
Serbian - Volim te
Setswana - Ke a go rata
Sign Language - ,\,,/ (represents position of fingers when signing 'I Love You')
Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan
Sioux - Techihhila
Slovak - Lu`bim ta
Slovenian - Ljubim te
Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo
Swahili - Ninapenda wewe
Swedish - Jag alskar dig
Swiss-German - Ich lieb Di
Surinam - Mi lobi joe
Tagalog - Mahal kita
Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li
Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe
Tamil - Nan unnai kathalikaraen
Telugu - Nenu ninnu premistunnanu
Thai
To female - Phom rak khun
To male - Chan rak khun
Informal - Rak te
Tunisian - Ha eh bak
Turkish - Seni Seviyorum
Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu
Urdu - mai aap say pyaar karta hoo
Vietnamese
To female - Anh ye^u em
To male - Em ye^u anh
Welsh - 'Rwy'n dy garu di
Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh
Yoruba - Mo ni fe
Zazi - Ezhele hezdege
Zuni - Tom ho' ichema

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Funny SQL Queries & Store Procedure

WeddingQuery. ....... ........ (SQL Style)

HUSBANDS QUERY

CREATE PROCEDURE MyMarriage (
BrideGroom Male (25) ,
Bride Female(20) )

AS
BEGIN


SELECT
Bride FROM india_ Brides
WHERE FatherInLaw = 'Millionaire'

AND Count(Car) > 20 AND HouseStatus ='ThreeStoreyed'
AND BrideEduStatus IN (B.TECH ,BE ,Degree ,MCA ,MiBA) AND Having Brothers= Null

AND Sisters =Null



SELECT Gold ,Cash,Car,BankBalan ce

FROM FatherInLaw

UPDATE MyBankAccout

SETMyBal = MyBal + FatherInLawBal


UPDATE
MyLocker

SET MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents + FatherInLawGold


INSERT INTO
MyCarShed VALUES('BMW')
END
GO

Then the wife writes the below query:

DROP HUSBAND;
Commit;

Games Cheat Codes

Max Payne Cheat Codes
To get access to the game console, you need to start maxpayne.exe with the command line parameter "-developer". Once you have the game running in developer mode, you get access to the game console with F12 and enter these codes:

coder - God Mode, All Weapons, Unlimited Ammo, etc.
God - God Mode
Mortal - Become Mortal
ShowFPS - Show FPS
NoClip - Fly Mode
NoClip_off - No Fly Mode
getbullettime - Fill Up When Bullet-Time Runs Out
showfps - Show Frame Rate
getpainkillers - Get 8 PainKillers
c_addhealth ( 100 ) - Add 100 to Health
GetAllWeapons - All Weapons
GetInfiniteAmmo - Infinite Ammo
jump10 - Jump Higher (set to 20 or 30 for even higher)
SetWoundedState - Walk as if Wounded
SetNormalState - Walk Normally
GetBaseballbat - Baseball Bat
GetBeretta - Beretta
GetBerettaDual (or GetDualBeretta) - Dual Berretas
GetDesertEagle - Desert Eagle
GetSawedShotgun - Shotgun #1
GetPumpShotgun - Shotgun #2
GetJackhammer - Jackhammer shotgun
GetIngram - Ingram
GetIngramDual (or GetDualIngram) - Dual Ingrams
GetMP5 - MP5
GetColtCommando - Colt Commando
GetMolotov - Molotov Cocktail
GetGrenade - Grenade
GetM79 - M79
GetSniper - Sniper Rifle
GetHealth - Health
GetPainkillers - Pain Killers
GetBulletTime - Fill up Bullet Time
Jump10 - Big Jump
Jump20 - BigBig Jump
Jump30 - BigBigBigJump
Inventory - Details of Player
Clr - Delete Line
Help - List Cheats

The following keys will be enabled also:

C - Cycle through three camera modes
PageUp - Cycle mesh up
PageDown - Cycle mesh down
Ctrl + PageUp - Cycle TextureSet up
Ctrl + PageDown - Cycle TextureSet down
Home - Increase game speed
End - Decrease game speed
Home + End - Set game speed to 1.00x (default speed)

Mobile Secret Codes

Mobile Phone Codes
So do you want to know what version of software you have in your phone? IMEI number? I have compiled a list of secret codes for your mobile phone. With these codes, you can check the phone's IMEI, software version, reset to default language or even deactivate the simlock (*but only in some models). Some of codes listed below must be typed without the SIM card inserted in the mobile, and some with SIM card in the phone. Have Fun!

Alcatel
IMEI number: * # 0 6 #
Software version: * # 0 6 #
Net Monitor: 0 0 0 0 0 0 *
Bosch
IMEI number: * # 0 6 #
Default Language: * # 0 0 0 0 #
Net Monitor: * # 3 2 6 2 2 5 5 * 8 3 7 8 # #
Dancall
IMEI number: * # 0 6 #
Software version: * # 9 9 9 9 #
SIM card serial number: * # 9 9 9 4 #
Information about battery status: * # 9 9 9 0 #
Selftest (only Dancall HP2731): * # 9 9 9 7 #
Show version configuration: * # 9 9 9 8 #
Net Monitor: * # 9 9 9 3 #
Ericsson
IMEI number: * # 0 6 #
Software version: > * < < * < *
Default Language: <>
Enter to phone menu without SimCard - after Wrong PIN: press NO: * * 0 4 * 0 0 0 0 * 0 0 0 0 * 0 0 0 0 #
Information about SIMLOCK: < * * <
Motorola
IMEI number: * # 0 6 #
Net Monitor ON: * * * 1 1 3 * 1 * [OK]
Net Monitor OFF: * * * 1 1 3 * 1 * [OK] * - press this until box shown up
Nokia
IMEI number: * # 0 6 #
Software version: * # 0 0 0 0 #
Lub * # 9 9 9 9 #
Simlock info: * # 9 2 7 0 2 6 8 9 #
Enhanced Full Rate: * 3 3 7 0 # [ # 3 3 7 0 # off]
Half Rate: * 4 7 2 0 #
Provider lock status: # p w + 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 + 1
Network lock status: # p w + 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 + 2
Provider lock status: # p w + 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 + 3
SimCard lock status: # p w + 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 + 4 1234567890 -
MasterCode which is generated from IMEI *#92702689# [*#war0anty#] Warranty code.
Philips
IMEI number: * # 0 6 #
Simlock info: * # 8 3 7 7 #
Security code: * # 1 2 3 4 # (Fizz) or * # 7 4 8 9 #
Samsung (Most models)
IMEI number: * # 0 6 #
Software version: * # 9 9 9 9 #
Albo* # 0 8 3 7 #
Net Monitor: * # 0 3 2 4 #
Changing LCD contrast: * # 0 5 2 3 #
Memory info: * # 0 3 7 7 #
Albo * # 0 2 4 6 #
Reset CUSTOM memory: * 2 7 6 7 * 2 8 7 8 #
Battery state: * # 9 9 9 8 * 2 2 8 #
Alarm beeper: * # 9 9 9 8 * 2 8 9 #
Vibra test: * # 9 9 9 8 * 8 4 2 #
Samsung (T100 Specific Codes)
Battery status (capacity, voltage, temperature): * # 8 9 9 9 * 2 2 8 #
Program status: * # 8 9 9 9 * 2 4 6 #
Change Alarm Buzzer Frequency: * # 8 9 9 9 * 2 8 9 #
Debug screens: * # 8 9 9 9 * 3 2 4 #
Watchdog: * # 8 9 9 9 * 3 6 4 #
EEPROM Error Stack: * # 8 9 9 9 * 3 7 7 #
Trace Watchdog: * # 8 9 9 9 * 4 2 7 #
Change LCD contrast: * # 8 9 9 9 * 5 2 3 #
Jig detect: * # 8 9 9 9 * 5 4 4 #
Memory status: * # 8 9 9 9 * 6 3 6 #
SIM File Size: * # 8 9 9 9 * 7 4 6 #
SIM Service Table: * # 8 9 9 9 * 7 7 8 #
RTK (Run Time Kernel) errors: * # 8 9 9 9 * 7 8 5 #
Run, Last UP, Last DOWN: * # 8 9 9 9 * 7 8 6 #
Software Version: * # 8 9 9 9 * 8 3 7 #
Test Vibrator: * # 8 9 9 9 * 8 4 2 #
Vocoder Reg: * # 8 9 9 9 * 8 6 2 #
Diag: * # 8 9 9 9 * 8 7 2 #
Reset On Fatal Error: * # 8 9 9 9 * 9 4 7 #
Last/Chk: * # 8 9 9 9 * 9 9 9 #9 9 * 9 9 9 #
Sagem
IMEI number: * # 0 6 #
Service Menu access: MENU 5 1 1 #
Siemens
IMEI number: * # 0 6 #
Software version: Take out SIM & enter: * # 0 6 # (& press LONG KEY)
Bonus screen: in phone book: + 1 2 0 2 2 2 4 3 1 2 1
Net Monitor (S4 Power):
Menu 9 8, left SoftKey, 7 6 8 4 6 6 6, Read phone, Menu 5 6
Sony
IMEI number: * # 0 6 #
Software version: * # 8 3 7 7 4 6 6 #
Show list of product creator names: + 1 2 0 2 2 2 4 3 1 2 1
Sony Ericsson
IMEI number: * # 0 6 #
Software version: > * < < * < *
Default Language: <>
Enter to phone menu without SimCard - after Wrong PIN: press NO: * * 0 4 * 0 0 0 0 * 0 0 0 0 * 0 0 0 0 #


Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Software Engineer and his wife.

Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.

Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.

Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.

Wife - but I told you about it in morning.
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.

Wife - Ya ALLAH! forget it where's yoursalar.
Husband - fine in use, read only, try after some time.

Wife - at least give me your credit cart, I can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.

Wife - I made a mistake in marrying you..
Husband - date type mismatch.

Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.

Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.

Wife - what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
Husband - the only user with write permission.

Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.

Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters.

Wife - I will go to my dad's house.
Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will Close.

Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.

Wife - it is worthless talking to you.
Husband - shut down the computer.

Wife - I m going
Husband - Its now safe to turn off your computer.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Drop Of Tear


I just want one more day with you

I'm so sad and depressed
Is all I want to do is rest
I go to sleep at night
But my dreams I just can't fight

I think of you lying in that bed
And wonder if there is anything I could have said
I wish you were still here
But I know that you are still near

I love you more than you know
I just wish you didn't have to go
I just want one more day with you
And I know thats what you would have wanted too

I miss you more and more each day
There is so much more we had to say
I know I will see you again
But my life is just started to begin.




Drop Of Tear

A drop of tear came out and asked me,
Why you called me out?
Why are you so sad?
Why are you feeling lonely?
Why are you weeping?
Heart didn?t answered
Than drop said
Never call me out because
I want to live in you
Never feel lonely because
I am always with you
Never become sad because
Accepting me no one is yours
I was with you when you had born
I will be with you till death
When you weep, your eyes will become red
When eyes will become red than will be pain
If there will be pain than you will be sick
If you will be sick than you will die
So I don?t want to lose you because
I am yours and will be always yours
Ever and forever